Shame
Shame is a painful social emotion associated with the feeling that something about us is inappropriate, unacceptable or at risk of rejection.
Definition
Shame is different from guilt: guilt is more often about action, while shame affects one's self-image. It can protect social connections, but intense or chronic shame leads to concealment, withdrawal, defensive aggression, self-criticism, and difficulty asking for help. Working with shame requires safety, language, and contact with a sympathetic perspective.
Key ideas
- Emocja społeczna
- Zagrożenie odrzuceniem
- Atak na obraz siebie
Practice and life
Instead of "I'm angry", write: "I did / I experienced / I'm afraid...". Separate the person from the behavior or experience.
Common misunderstanding
It is a mistake to use shame as the main method of motivation. It is also a mistake to confuse shame with responsibility.
Questions for self-reflection
- Czego się wstydzę?
- Czy oceniam siebie całego, czy konkretne zachowanie?
- Komu mogę powiedzieć o tym bezpiecznie?