Self-sabotage

Self-sabotage is a colloquial term for actions or omissions that make it difficult to achieve one's goals despite the declared desire to achieve them.

Definition

Self-sabotage is not a formal clinical diagnosis, but a useful description of repetitive self-handicapping behaviors. It may include procrastination, avoidance of decisions, perfectionism, withdrawing before the end, chaotic priorities, or behaviors that are contrary to one's goals. It often serves a protective function: it helps avoid fear of failure, evaluation, responsibility or identity change, but in the long term it undermines agency.

Key ideas

  1. Niespójność intencji i zachowania
  2. Ukryte lęki i przekonania
  3. Zmiana przez małe kontrakty z samym sobą

Practice and life

Identify one repetitive pattern of self-sabotage and set a contract: specific action, deadline and person to whom you report the performance.

Common misunderstanding

It is a mistake to interpret self-sabotage as evidence of a "faulty personality." A common mistake is to fight the symptom without checking what emotion or consequence the behavior helps temporarily avoid.

Questions for self-reflection

  • W którym momencie najczęściej wycofuję się z działania?
  • Jaką emocję próbuję uniknąć przez autosabotaż?
  • Jaki minimalny krok przełamujący mogę wykonać dziś?

Sources