Welcome to March.
This is my first episode this year, although I planned it to be the third.
I know a few people were waiting for the January material, then the February material, and now you finally hear my voice only in March.
Today I will start with authenticity, because it is the foundation of Element Guru and
this is what this episode will be about.
I was preparing material about getting out of the loop of new
beginnings, about how to stop constantly starting from scratch.
About how to build lasting change instead of chasing another short-lived burst of enthusiasm.
I wrote about the neuropsychology of rest, about the pressure of January resolutions, about the
fact that not everything has to be new, it just needs to be true.
And then life decided to check if I really understood what I was writing about.
The irony of the situation is obvious to me and you probably already see it too.
I'm preparing an episode about how not to get stuck in the
loop of eternal restarts, entering another beginning, another attempt to implement
the plan, another "Everything will definitely go according to schedule."
But there is one fundamental difference, and it is this difference that is the key to everything I will be talking about today.
This difference is called awareness.
I planned that January would be about beginnings and reconstruction, and February about relationships and kind words.
March about sensitivity and awareness.
Everything had to be arranged and thought
out, and then things started to happen that required me to do exactly what I wrote about.
Big changes in life, prolonged reconstruction process.
Reorganization not only of the project, but of the entire way of functioning.
I could do one
of two things: or force myself into the schedule and produce materials even though internally I wasn't ready.
Pretend everything is going according to plan, I could record the January episode in February, pretending it's January.
I could.
Keep up appearances...
or
I could stop, look myself in the eye and ask questions: what
do I really need right now?
and
what does this project need?
The answer was clear: authenticity, truthfulness, practicing what I preach.
So that's what I do.
This episode will be special.
It will combine what I wanted to say in January about the beginning and reconstruction with
what I wanted to say in February about relationships and good words, because
it turned out that these topics cannot be separated, that they
are two sides of the same coin.
It is impossible to truly start over if we do not have a kind word for ourselves, it is
impossible to build healthy relationships with others, if the relationship with ourselves is full of criticism and pressure, it is
impossible to break the loop of constant restarts, if we do not learn to speak to ourselves in the language of compassion instead of accusations.
This will be an episode about theory that meets practice,
about psychological concepts that I had to admit through the sieve of my own life.
About how easy it is to write about self-compassion
and how difficult it is to practice it when the plan
falls apart and there will be an
episode about that. exactly this: this difficulty, this stumble, this unpredictability
of life is the truest material from which we can learn.
In March, Element Guru returns to its regular schedule.
There will be a main episode as you see
it now and other forms that I am planning or continuing on my social
media, but with one key difference from my previous plans.
I don't promise everything will go according to schedule.
I promise truthfulness.
I don't promise myself a perfect polished version of myself, I
promise myself an authentic version
with a process with difficulties, with live learning, because
only such a version is, in the end, worth listening to.
Only this version has a chance to really help
someone, so today I invite you on a
unique journey through what was supposed to be January, but became something more
thanks to the theory that became my life.
Because of words that I had to turn into actions.
A story about how to start and rebuild yourself, not
in theory but in practice.
We often welcome the new year with a mixture of euphoria and anxiety.
Social media is flooded with resolutions, fireworks light
up the sky, we hear the
slogan "new year - new me" everywhere, and
then January 2 comes and it turns out that...
we are exactly the same as we were
on December 31st, with the same thoughts, habits, problems,
the same emotional baggage, with everything
that we have been carrying around for years.
Changing the calendar date does not automatically erase our current patterns.
It's just a number. Date.
An arbitrary point in the infinite time continuum.
Psychologists pay attention to something they call the "fresh start effect".
Our tendency to make changes in symbolic moments of breakthrough, and this
beautiful phenomenon, gives us hope and energy to act, but it
also has its dark side.
Because when we believe that January is a magical reset,
when we put the pressure of a "new me" on
ourselves, when we expect that at the stroke of midnight we will become someone
else, we are actually setting ourselves up for failure.
The research is ruthless.
Between 80 and even 92% of New Year's resolutions end in failure within just the first 2-3 months.
A Norwegian study covering over a million people showed that on average
a New Year's resolution lasts 66 days, but
only 10% of people stick to it throughout the year.
These are not numbers to ignore.
These are not statistics about weakness of character or lack of discipline.
This data shows something fundamental: our
approach to change is fundamentally wrong.
I felt this pressure myself in January.
I was preparing material that was supposed to be about getting out of the loop of new beginnings.
I understood the theory perfectly.
I knew what I needed to do and at the same time I was experiencing exactly what I was writing about.
Changes in my personal life, publishing a book, illness and reorganization of projects, the feeling that the
ground is slipping from under my feet and I have to find a new balance.
I could have treated it as falling into the abyss, given up and
failed, treating it as further proof that I had "failed again."
As confirmation that I was in the same loop as everyone
else, or I could stop and ask myself,
"what is actually going on?"
And then I remembered a fragment that I had written for the January material: "A new year does
not mean a new ride from one day to the next, rather it is a continuation of our lives.
The next chapter in which we can introduce changes gradually, in our own way.
As I thought about this sentence, I began to wonder if
I really believed it, was it just nice words, or was it something I was willing to live by?
Because... here I am.
In a situation where my plan does not follow the
schedule, where theory and practice collide.
Where everything I write has to be passed through my own experience and I have
a choice: I
can enter into self-criticism.
"I'm writing about getting out of loopy beginnings, but I can't maintain regularity myself."
"I'm a hypocrite, I'm a failure."
or
I can apply what I wrote about.
In the materials I have prepared for January,
there is an entire chapter on the neuropsychology
of rest, how our nervous system needs a period of regeneration,
and the sympathetic nervous system, which is activated when we stop rushing and allow the body to return to balance.
These are not just words. It's physiology.
When we live in constant stress, in constant
rush, our body functions in the "fight or flight" mode.
The sympathetic nervous system is constantly activated.
Stress hormones circulate in the blood.
The whole body is tense, ready to react to a threat.
And we can function like this for some
time, weeks, maybe months, but
eventually there comes a moment when the body says "ENOUGH".
Research shows that chronic stress accelerates the aging process at the cellular
level, damages telomeres (protective ends of chromosomes),
lowers immunity, and worsens cognitive functions.
It's not a matter of weakness.
This is a matter of biology.
My body needed a break.
My mind needed space to reorganize.
Not because I'm weak - because I'm human and I had
a choice:
either I ignore these signals and force myself into a schedule,
or I listen to myself and give myself what I
need, but here comes the key question that I asked
myself and which I
also ask you: How to distinguish constructive rest from procrastination?
Because it's not that obvious.
It's easy to call any delay a "need for regeneration."
It's easy to justify procrastination by saying "I'm giving myself time."
It's easy to avoid difficult things under the guise of "listening to yourself."
So I have prepared some review questions that you can ask yourself to dispel these doubts.
What is the purpose of my break?
Does he really want to recover? Or am I running away from action?
How does he feel during this break?
Do I feel calm and relaxed, or do I feel more anxious and guilty?
Do I have a return to action planned?
A specific time? Condition, moment or rather vague: In a moment, later?
What is my condition after the break? Does he feel better?
Do I have more energy, better mood, more clarity?
Or am I more tired, shaky, worried about time running out?
Personally, I asked myself these questions honestly and the answer was
clear: I need space.
I'm not running away - I'm regenerating.
Because I feel at peace with this decision - not anxiety,
because I know when I will return -
March, because after that time I feel that I am ready to come back stronger.
It was a conscious break.
Strategic stop, not escape.
Psychologist Timothy Pychyl, one of the leading researchers of procrastination, says something incredibly important: "Procrastination
is not a problem of time management, but a problem of managing emotions."
We put things off not because we don't
have time, we put them off because they cause us discomfort, anxiety,
boredom, frustration, and instead of facing this discomfort, we look for immediate relief by doing something more
pleasant, but real rest is different.
It is not an escape from emotions, it is a conscious choice of regeneration, after which we return to action.
Stronger, clearer, ready.
The difference is subtle but crucial.
And here we come to the pattern that blocks most people in the change
process: Perfectionism.
Thinking, "all or nothing".
When we set a goal, we often do it in terms of zeros and ones.
"I will practice every day."
"I'll stop eating sweets."
"I will post every week without exception."
And on the first day, when we don't meet the high standard, we think:
"I've failed, there's no point in trying anymore."
"I'll start over next week"
"or next month or next year."
Research by Norwegian scientists shows that the
"all or nothing" approach dramatically increases the risk of failure by as much
as 300%!
Because all it takes is one small mistake and the whole house of cards collapses.
This is the loop of new beginnings, we
don't stick to the decision, we
blame ourselves, we
feel hopeless, we give up everything, after some
time we try again, this time it
will definitely be different, but the
approach is the same, so it ends the same and
we blame ourselves again and the circle closes.
Conversation with yourself in such moments goes something like this:
"You failed again, you have no character!"
"Others can do it, but you can't!"
"Maybe you're just not made for change?"
"Maybe you should just get over it and stop trying?"
This is the voice of the inner critic and it is ruthless.
When I was off schedule in January and February, that voice was very loud.
"You promised regularity! You're not keeping your word again!"
"People are waiting and you are failing! You are incoherent!"
:You write so much about development, but you can't keep a simple plan!
And I listened to it for some time...
I felt pressure, I felt shame.
I felt like I should force myself to do something to fix the situation.
I had moments when
I wanted to record everything in one day and upload the backlog, but
after a few such...
I stopped and asked myself a question,
a question that changed everything: "What would
I tell myself in this situation, if I
were talking to the version of myself that I currently am?"
Which translates as:
What would my best friend tell me?"
A good friend wouldn't say,
"You suck. Give up."
A good friend would probably say, "Hey,
I see you're having a hard time."
"I know you care about this project, but I also see that you're going through something challenging."
"Maybe you need a moment to sort everything out."
"It's normal, take this time. You'll come back when you're ready."
Empathy, understanding, compassion.
And that brings us directly to the second part of today's episode.
On to what was supposed to
be February, to relationships and
kind words, but before we get there, I want to finish one key thought about perfectionism.
The way out of the trap is not to lower your standards.
It's not about saying "It's hard, it doesn't matter, I'm giving up."
It's about changing the approach from "all or nothing" to "progress over perfection."
Instead of:
"I have to publish every week without exception, or the whole project is pointless."
Approach: "I
strive for regularity, but if I need a break, I will take it more consciously and come back stronger."
Instead of:
"I have to exercise every day or there's no point in starting at all."
Approach: "I
will exercise 3-4 times a week, and if one week it is less, it does not mean that all is lost."
Instead of:
"I have to be the perfect version of myself by January."
Approach: "I
will take baby steps, learn from my mistakes, and adjust course when necessary."
This is not lowering standards.
This is realism.
And paradoxically, a flexible approach leads
to better long-term results than rigid perfectionism.
Because people with this approach do not give up at the first mistake.
They continue, they adapt, they learn.
So what did I do?
Instead of thinking:
"I failed to implement my plan. I am a failure."
I decided to adapt the plan to reality.
It wasn't an easy journey, because somewhere in the back of my mind I still had the thought that I was failing,
but I didn't give in to it and stuck with it.
A process in which the general question was not "how to prove the project", but: "how
to talk to yourself during this time?"
Because it is this internal dialogue,
this language that we use with ourselves, that determines whether we
will escape the loop of new beginnings or sink even deeper into it.
And this brings us to the second topic, more
precisely, straight to relationships and a good word,
but this time, starting with the most important relationship - the relationship with yourself.
Think for a moment: "How
do you talk to yourself when something goes wrong?"
when you are late for work,
when you forget about an important meeting,
when you promised yourself to do something and you didn't do
it, when you again failed to keep your resolution.
What words do you use?
For most of us, this internal dialogue goes something like this:
"Again! You suck. Why do you always do this?"
"Others give advice, but you don't. What's wrong with you?"
"Maybe you'll never change? Maybe this is your ceiling?"
Brutal - right?
Now think about
it, would you say these things to your best friend?
Baby?
The person you care about?
Never.
You would rather say something like: "I
see it was hard, everyone has bad moments, the important thing is that you
try" "it will be better next time."
So why do we talk to each other differently?
There is a concept in
psychology: self-criticism vs. self-compassion.
Self-criticism is an inner voice that attacks us, blames us, scolds us.
That voice says,
"You're not good enough, you need to try harder. You need to be better."
And for years, psychology has promoted this voice as a "motivator."
We thought,
"If I'm strict with myself, it will motivate me to take action,"
"If I'm lenient, I'll rest on my laurels."
But research shows the opposite.
Dr. Kristin Neff (a leading self-compassion researcher)
has proven that people who practice
self-compassion achieve goals as high (or higher) as
perfectionists, but experience significantly less stress, anxiety and burnout.
Why?
Because self-compassion doesn't mean self-indulgence, it
means treating yourself with the same kindness you would treat a good friend.
When a good friend makes a mistake, we don't tell him "you suck."
We say "hey, everyone makes a mistake sometimes, what can you learn from it, how can we fix it?"
It's constructive, it's supportive, it builds resilience.
Self-criticism, on the other hand, activates the threat system in
the brain, literally the same areas that respond to external attacks - they are activated when we attack ourselves, the
body reacts with stress, stress hormones increase, defense mechanisms are activated, and as a result,
we feel worse, we are more tense, it is more difficult for us to act.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, activates the calming system.
The same part of the nervous system that responds to care, support, safety.
We feel safer, calmer, more able to act constructively.
This isn't theory, it's neuroscience.
And I experienced it firsthand.
In January and February, when I listened to the voice of
self-criticism, "you failed again, you let people down, you are inconsistent."
I felt worse and worse, my tension was rising and my energy was dropping.
Paradoxically, the more I beat myself up, the harder it was for
me to act when I switched to
just compassion, "you're going through a hard time, you need time, it's okay."
I felt relieved. Space, the opportunity to
breathe, and from this space I could start acting constructively.
Not from a place of panic or shame, but from a place of peace and clarity.
Although it sounds paradoxical, because people tend to think that a
strict "pull yourself together" will motivate more than a gentle "It's difficult, but you can do it."
But it doesn't work like that, because harsh criticism does not give you the energy to act, but rather gives you fear of failure.
Self-compassion gives you security, even if
things get hard again, I can handle it, I'm okay, I can try."
And this brings us to another very important fact.
We cannot build healthy relationships with others if we have a toxic relationship with ourselves.
Imagine you have a cup inside you.
This cup represents your emotional reserve,
ability to provide support, empathy, patience, love.
When this cup is empty because we keep pouring everything out of it for others without filling it,
in the end we have nothing left
to give, but there is something
even worse, when this cup is filled
with poison, self-criticism, shame, feeling of inadequacy, this is what
we pour out on others, even if we don't want to.
If we criticize ourselves for every imperfection, we will probably
be critical of others, if we do not forgive
our mistakes, it will be difficult for us to forgive others, if we
think that we have to be perfect, we will unconsciously demand it from our loved ones.
We cannot give someone something that we deny ourselves.
It sounds like a truism, but see how it works in practice.
Imagine a partner who has a deep-seated belief that "she's
not good enough at this."
No matter how much she achieves, she always feels like she could do more, she is always strict with herself.
What's going on in her relationship?
She will probably have trouble accepting compliments.
When your partner says "you are great", she
will think "if he really knew me, he would know that I am not."
She will probably be overly sensitive to criticism
because every comment confirms an internal belief of inadequacy and she will
probably become a perfectionist towards her partner, because if
she has to be perfect, he should too.
In such a case, the relationship becomes a minefield.
Not because either side is evil,
but because one person's internal wounds poison the dynamics of the whole.
Similarly, imagine a person who believes: "My worth
depends on my achievements. I am not productive - I am worthless."
What happens when such a person has a child?
You may unconsciously pass on the same pressure to him.
"You have to study well, you have to win, you have to achieve."
Not because he doesn't love his child, but because it is the only language of values he knows.
What I mean is a simple
message: Your relationship with yourself is the prototype for all other relationships.
This is the first template, the first matrix.
If it is based on criticism, perfectionism, lack of acceptance, we will replicate it in other relationships.
However, if it is based on compassion, acceptance and kindness, then this is what we will give to others.
We cannot export what we do not have in stock.
And that's why February's topic "relationships and good words" must start with ourselves.
Before we can learn to speak with empathy towards others,
we must learn to speak with empathy towards ourselves.
Before we learn to listen to others without judgment,
we must learn to listen to our inner selves without self-condemnation.
Before we learn to support others in difficult moments,
we must learn to support ourselves.
This is not selfishness, this is the
foundation, because only from a full cup can we truly share with others.
Only from a place of inner peace can we create healthy relationships.
And this brings us to something very specific, very practical: How
do we communicate difficulties?
How do we talk about what didn't work out, that we stumbled, that we need help?
Most of us have learned to hide our weakness.
Show only successes, maintain the façade of "I have everything under control."
On social media, we see carefully selected fragments of other people's lives.
Victories, achievements, perfect moments.
We don't see the struggle, the doubts, the failures or the tears.
And we start to believe that we are the only ones who
suffer, the only ones who fail,
the only ones who are imperfect.
It's poison for mental health.
When we hide our difficulties, we create an artificial gap between ourselves and others.
They see our mask,
the studied version that has it all figured out, and we
see their masks,
and we all feel alone because
none of those masks are real, but
when someone has the courage to say,
"Listen, I'm having a hard time with these people right now. I need support."
Magic happens.
Other masks begin to fall.
"I've been through this too," "I'm
struggling with it too."
"I thought it was just me."
Authenticity is contagious (in a good way.) My decision
to be transparent in this episode by
saying outright that January and February didn't go as planned, rather
than pretending everything is perfect, is
just such an act of authenticity.
I could record this episode and pretend everything was going smoothly.
I could go without mentioning the difficulties.
I could only show the effect, not the process.
But that would be disingenuous and, more importantly, worthless, because no one
is helped by a perfect final image, but the truth about the process can be.
No one needs another perfect guru who has everything figured out, and in
today's world there is no one who shows what it really looks like.
With falls, with course adjustments,. with live learning There
is a nice term called "sensitivity".
Vulnerability, but also the courage to be authentic.
Brennan Brown, a researcher on this phenomenon, says something
beautiful: "Vulnerability is not weakness, it is our most accurate measure of courage."
Showing that we are not perfect takes courage because it opens us up to judgment, criticism and rejection,
but it also opens us up to true
connection, because people don't connect with perfection, they connect with humanity.
Unattainable ideals are not inspiration.
People who face the same difficulties, who don't give up and
try, are an inspiration.
When I tell
you, "I had a plan that didn't go according to schedule, I had to adjust course."
What's actually going on?
It shows that it's normal, everyone goes through it.
If you are at a similar point in your life, know that you are not alone.
It affects everyone here without exception.
Regardless of whether it is an ordinary person who just lives, a
star from TV or the Internet,
or, as in this case, someone who publishes materials about development.
Everyone stumbles, has to adapt, each of
us is just a human in the cycle of life,
And life?
You can never plan perfectly.
It will always be unpredictable.
At the same time, life is a space in which you can be
authentic, imperfect, and learning, and
it is this space that is the most valuable in relationships.
A space where we don't have to pretend,
where we can say, "I
don't know."
Where we can ask for help,
where we can show that it's hard for us.
We first create such a space within ourselves
when we allow ourselves to be imperfect,
when we speak to ourselves with compassion instead of criticism,
and then we export it outside,
into relationships with others.
We become people with whom others can feel safe to be authentic.
Because we model it ourselves.
Sometimes the biggest change is one true sentence spoken from the heart, not
an impressive transformation, not a spectacular achievement, not an ideal version
of yourself - one honest sentence: "I'm having a
hard time."
"I need help."
"I don't know what to do next."
Such sentences build bridges between us and others,
between us and ourselves.
And that brings us to the synthesis of today's
episode to where my January and February design projects meet.
Let's go back to the beginning for a moment: the new restart loop.
Why are we stuck in this loop?
The mechanism looks like
this: we set ourselves a goal, often too
ambitious, we try, but we stumble.
We react with self-criticism such as "I failed again, I'm hopeless."
Self-criticism weakens us, so we abandon the goal and
after some time we try again
with the same approach and it ends the same again.
It's a vicious circle.
But what drives them?
There is no lack of discipline or weakness of character.
They are fueled by self-criticism.
It's that voice that
says, "You failed again. You suck."
it kills our motivation to continue.
Dr. Kristin Neff's research shows something
important, people who practice self-compassion have just as high standards as perfectionists.
But when they do not achieve them, they do not break
down mentally, instead of completely abandoning the goal, they adapt their strategy.
Instead of entering a shame spiral, they draw constructive conclusions and,
as a result, are more persistent.
Of course, sometimes they give up, but
overall they are more likely to achieve long-term success.
This is a proven mechanism that
clearly shows that compassion itself does not take away our
motivation, but gives us the security to keep trying.
Self-criticism, on the other hand, paralyzes
us, so paradoxically, the more strict we are with ourselves, the
less effective we are in the long term,
and the more understanding we are with ourselves,
the more we achieve.
It sounds counterintuitive, but neuroscience backs it up.
So what does the practical application look like?
Let's take a specific example - mine.
My plan is to "publish regularly every
month" "January February, March episodes as scheduled" Life
is getting complicated.
I need more time to reorganize.
There are 2 approaches to choose from.
Self-critical approach: "You didn't
keep your word again,"
"you promised regularity, but you failed in the first 2 months."
"People were counting on you. You're inconsistent."
"You write so much about development, but you can't keep a simple schedule."
"It's embarrassing."
And the self-compassionate approach:
"The situation is difficult,"
"you are going through big life
changes," "you need time to reorganize."
"It's human. Everyone sometimes has to adapt the plan to reality."
"You can be transparent with people about the situation,"
"you'll come back when you're ready,"
"it's not failure, it's wisdom."
The first approach leads to increasing stress, loss
of energy, feeling of shame,
or even complete abandonment of the project.
Because "if it's a failure anyway, why try?"
The second approach leads to inner peace
and constructive thinking.
So "how can I organize it better?"
Authentic communication, returning
to action with greater wisdom.
Which approach is likely to be successful in the long term?
Obvious.
And this is the missing link in breaking out of the loop of new beginnings.
We have no shortage of plans.
We have no shortage of knowledge on how to change.
We lack kindness towards ourselves in the process of change.
Without self-compassion, every failure becomes evidence of our own. inadequacy.
and confirmation that we are not good enough, a
reason to give up.
With self-compassion, every failure becomes a lesson,
part of the process, something normal.
There is a fundamental difference on the way to any change.
Before we start changing the external aspects of our lives,
habits, relationships, careers, we need
to change our relationships with ourselves.
Because we will build all other changes on this very foundation, if
it is based on criticism and shame?
Any structure will be fragile and will collapse at the first shock.
If it is based on acceptance and compassion?
We can build something lasting.
To put it more figuratively:
it is impossible to build a healthy relationship if the relationship with ourselves is
toxic, we will either attract toxic people because it seems normal to us, or
we will sabotage healthy relationships because deep down we feel that we do not deserve them.
It is impossible to achieve lasting change in habits if we treat every failure as
a disaster, because then we will abandon everything at the first crisis.
It is impossible to develop a career if we define success in a perfectionist way, because
we will either avoid challenges because we are afraid of failure, or
we will burn out in the pursuit of an impossible ideal.
It all starts with your relationship with yourself.
It is impossible to talk about beginnings and reconstruction
without talking about how we talk to each other in this process.
It is impossible to talk about relationships and good words
without starting the fill with relationships with each other.
These topics are not separate. they are 2 aspects of the same reality.
If I had to point out one, the most important new beginning you can make.
It wouldn't be a new training plan, diet or list of resolutions, but
it would be "a new way of talking to yourself."
Changing your internal language from criticism to compassion.
It sounds simple, but it is the most
difficult change, because it requires awareness and noticing the voice of
the inner critic, recognizing it and consciously choosing a
different language requires practice, daily effort,
because years of self-criticism will not disappear overnight.
But it's the most important work you can do
because it changes everything else.
There is one more aspect that connects both topics.
Both in the process of change and in
building relationships, authentic communication about difficulties is extremely important.
We cannot change in secret if we
are not honest with ourselves about where we are and what we need.
We have no starting point.
We cannot build deep relationships by hiding our difficulties, because if
we only show a facade, we are not creating a real connection.
In both cases, we need the courage to be authentic.
In the process of change, this means taking a broader look at where we
are without embellishing it, but also without demonizing it.
Admitting difficulties, that "something is hard for me",
naming emotions, i.e. "I feel overwhelmed",
asking for help when needed.
In building relationships, this means showing not only your successes, but also your struggles.
Talking about doubts and fears,
sharing what is difficult,
creating a space where others can also be authentic.
And again:
you can't do this to others if you don't do it to yourself.
The relationship with yourself models all other relationships.
This is not a metaphor, it is a mechanism.
All this brings us to the March
theme, "sensitivity and awareness",
but before we get there, these 2
months "January,
February," "beginning and rebuilding,"
"relationships and good
words" were the necessary foundation.
I couldn't start talking about vulnerability without
going through it. first by the process of being sensitive to yourself,
i.e. to your needs and your boundaries.
I couldn't begin to talk about
awareness without first becoming aware of my own process,
my own patterns and my own patterns.
These 2 months were my practice.
The practice of a theory that I already knew, but that had to go through life.
Sensitivity is the ability to feel yourself and others in the
world, but it is impossible to be sensitive
to others if we are not first sensitive to
ourselves, if we ignore our own signals,
our own needs, our own boundaries.
Awareness is the ability to see, understand and be present.
But it is impossible to be aware of the
external world if we are not first aware of the internal
world, our own thoughts, emotions, reactions.
January and February were a school of sensitivity, awareness, a
practical school of life.
I have learned to be sensitive to the fact that I need
space and to stop ignoring signs of fatigue.
I learned to be aware of my own patterns
of the critic's voice, the temptation of perfectionism, and social pressure.
And it is this practice that gives me the foundation
to talk about this topic in March not as a
theoretician, but as someone who has been through it.
I couldn't start March without this transition.
It wasn't a scheduling failure, but a necessary experience.
Life is not linear, development is not linear.
Plans are important, but so
is flexibility, and this flexibility, this ability to adapt to reality while
staying the course, is the key.
Not stiffness, but flexibility.
Not perfection, but authenticity.
Not a facade, but the truth.
So here we are - March.
From this point on, Element Guru returns to a regular schedule, but with more
wisdom than I had at the beginning of the year.
The plan is important, but life is more important.
Regularity is valuable, but authenticity is fundamental.
I will strive to publish as planned, but if
space is needed, I will consciously give it to myself.
Things won't always go smoothly, but
I will be transparent about the processes.
There will not be a perfect version of me, but it will
be authentic with the process of difficulties, with live learning,
because only such a version has value.
Only this version can really help someone.
March's theme: "sensitivity and awareness".
We will talk about how to develop sensitivity to yourself and the world around
you, how to be aware of your
own processes, how to notice signals before they become
crises, but we will talk about it through the prism of
experience, not only
theory, because theory without practice is empty,
and practice without theory is blind.
Element Guru will be the bridge between these two worlds.
This is my plan and now I invite you to join us on this journey.
Since March, probably on a
regular basis with greater authenticity and deeper understanding.
We will learn together, grow together, go
through topics together, because this is
Element Guru, not a lecture, but
a dialogue, not a
transmission of wisdom from above, but discovering it together, not a
guru on a pedestal, but a person learning along the way.
Think for a moment about the irony of this episode.
The episode about breaking out of the loop of new beginnings was itself a new beginning.
The episode about authenticity required a genuine admission of difficulties.
The episode, which combined beginning and rebuilding with relationships and kind words,
was itself a practical example of both topics.
It wasn't a mistake, it was a lesson.
Sometimes life itself becomes the best teacher of the topics we intended to teach.
Sometimes what seems like a failure of
a plan is exactly what we need to understand the topic more deeply.
Sometimes theory must meet practice to become something valuable.
And that's exactly what happened.
This beginning was different from the previous ones.
It was not based on enthusiastic
fervor, but on an awareness of authenticity and self-compassion.
It was based on the acceptance that life is unpredictable,
plans will need to be adjusted,
and process is more important than perfection.
Finally, I have a quote to close the episode.
The same one that was supposed to close the January material.
"Not everything has to be new, it just needs to be true."
This is an episode about the
new, it's an episode, about the
real, it's not a reset, it's an evolution.
During March I'm coming back with sensitivity and awareness, and
now be
kind to yourself, speak
to yourself in the language of compassion, not criticism,
and remember, you
don't have to be
perfect, you just need to be real.
Good luck.
