The language of needs
The language of needs is a way of talking about what is important, needed or unmet, without reducing the conversation to accusations and demands.
Definition
Needs-based communication distinguishes between needs and strategies. The need may be safety, autonomy, rest or connection, and the strategy may be the specific behavior we are asking for. Such language facilitates the conversation because it shifts the focus from blame to meaning and possible solutions.
Key ideas
Missing key ideas.
Practice and life
In a difficult conversation, use the pattern: "When I see/hear X, I feel Y because I need Z. Can we agree on...?"
Common misunderstanding
It is wrong to call a request a need, e.g. "I need you to do exactly this." It is also a mistake to ignore feelings and go straight to grievances.
Questions for self-reflection
No questions for self-reflection.
Sources
No sources.