Self-compassion
Self-compassion is treating yourself with kindness and realism in the face of mistakes, suffering, and imperfections.
Definition
Self-compassion means relating to ourselves with kindness, mindfulness, and realism in times of error, suffering, or imperfection. As Kristin Neff describes it, it involves three elements: self-kindness instead of harsh self-criticism, a sense of shared humanity instead of isolation, and mindfulness instead of being flooded with emotion. It is not self-indulgent, but a way to return to responsible action without paralyzing shame.
Key ideas
- Kindness instead of self-flagellation
- Recognizing that imperfection is human
- Attentive presence towards difficult emotions
Practice and life
When you stumble, use three sentences: "This is a difficult moment", "I am not alone with this experience", "What would be supportive and responsible for me now?"
Common misconceptions
It is a mistake to confuse self-compassion with self-indulgence. A common mistake is to use kind language without actually changing behavior.
> Self-kindness does not abolish responsibility; helps you carry it without shame.
> — Guru Element
Questions for self-reflection
- What does my inner voice sound like after a mistake?
- What would I say to someone close to me in the same situation?
- How to combine kindness towards yourself with responsible action?