The inner critic
The inner critic is a persistent way of talking to yourself that is based on judgment, pressure, shaming, or anticipation of failure.
Definition
The inner critic often arises as an attempt to protect against error, rejection, or loss of control, but its language can increase shame and block action. Working with him is not about pretending that everything is fine, but about separating feedback from violence towards yourself.
Key ideas
- Self-criticism
- Shame
- Protection through pressure
Practice and life
Write down one critical sentence and rewrite it as if it were being spoken by a demanding but kind mentor. Keep the information, remove the contempt.
Common misconceptions
It is a mistake to fight the critic with successive self-critical sentences. It is also a mistake to confuse kindness towards yourself with a lack of responsibility.
> The inner critic speaks a language that hurts in order to trigger a defensive reaction to the action that we are subliminally afraid of.
> — Guru Element
Questions for self-reflection
- What is the critic trying to protect me from?
- What information is hidden under the attack?
- How can I say the same thing without hurting myself?