Status games
Status games are behaviors used to gain, defend or demonstrate social position in a group.
Definition
Status games can occur in relationships, work, the internet, and social settings. They include subtle forms of dominating, comparing, impressing, shaming, or signaling affiliation. Status itself is an element of social life, but it becomes a problem when it replaces authentic contact, cooperation and honest assessment of the situation.
Key ideas
- Social position
- Comparing
- Signaling value
Practice and life
In a tense conversation, ask: Am I trying to clarify something or win a position? Then return to the specific purpose of the conversation.
Common misconceptions
It is a mistake to see a status game in all behavior. People may also simply be looking for validation, security, or understanding.
> In a conversation, we are looking for either truth or status... The question is: what is more important, really?
> — Guru Element
Questions for self-reflection
- What is this conversation really about?
- Am I defending a fact, a value or a position?
- What would this situation be like without the need to impress?