Emotional tuning
Emotional attunement is noticing and adequately responding to the other person's emotional state.
Definition
Emotional attunement is an important element of relationships, care, communication and co-regulation. It includes attention to facial expressions, tone of voice, pace, body tension and the content of the statement. It does not mean taking on the other person's emotions or guessing everything, but creating contact in which emotions are noticed, named and taken seriously.
Key ideas
- Pay attention to emotional signals
- Adequate answer
- Co-regulation without taking over
Practice and life
In a conversation, first try to name what you hear: "It sounds like it's hard for you." Only then proceed to the advice or solution.
Common misconceptions
It is a mistake to confuse attunement with saving someone from any emotion. A common mistake is projecting your feelings onto the other person instead of checking what they are really going through.
> Closeness begins where we allow someone to cross our boundaries and touch our interior.
> — Guru Element
Questions for self-reflection
- What emotions do I hear behind this person's words?
- Am I responding to her condition or to my own fear?
- How can I be present without taking responsibility for everything?