Assertiveness
Assertiveness is expressing your own needs and boundaries with respect for yourself and others.
Definition
Assertiveness is a way of communication that allows you to express needs, refusal, requests or boundaries without submission and aggression. It involves respect for yourself and the other person, but does not require consent at all costs. In practice, it involves clear messages, responsibility for one's own feelings and a willingness to negotiate where negotiation is possible.
Key ideas
- Clear boundaries
- Mutual respect
- JA messages
Practice and life
Practice the sentence model: "When X happens, I feel Y and I need Z." Use it in one real conversation a week.
Common misconceptions
The most common mistake is confusing assertiveness with hardness or coldness. It is also a mistake to explain too much instead of giving a short and clear message.
> Assertiveness does not have to raise its voice if it clearly maintains the boundaries.
> — Guru Element
Questions for self-reflection
- In what situations do I find it most difficult to set boundaries?
- How can I communicate a need without accusations?
- What “no” will protect my important priority?